


holding onto you

by realityrewind



Series: if i needed someone [1]
Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Bickering, Biting, Fighting, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Idiots in Love, Jay is oblivious, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Pining, Tim is grumpy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 16:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityrewind/pseuds/realityrewind
Summary: Jay was driving Tim crazy.Not in the way he often does, when Jay thinks Tim isn’t looking.  With his slim shoulders, and his sharp jawline. His long, thin fingers, and his wide, blue eyes. This isn’t Tim’s stupidpining.Though that may be part of it. Maybe Jay wouldn’t be talking so much if Tim could shut him up with his mouth on his..   .   .In which a fight leads to something more.





	holding onto you

Jay was driving Tim crazy.

Not in the way he often does, when Jay thinks Tim isn’t looking.  With his slim shoulders, and his sharp jawline. His long, thin fingers, and his wide, blue eyes. This isn’t Tim’s stupid _pining_. Though that may be part of it. Maybe Jay wouldn’t be talking so much if Tim could shut him up with his mouth on his.

The thought burned Tim up. With embarrassment, with shame. With _annoyance._ He was supposed to be irritated with Jay’s stupid blabbering. And he is, _he is_.

He also just happens to have a big, idiotic, stupid, _hopeless_ crush on his friend. (Are they even friends, or just people forced to work together? Does Jay even consider him a friend?)

The entire drive to the next motel, Jay was rambling on and on about what they needed to do next, what Alex was thinking, where totheark and _that thing_ could be, fear and paranoia spilling from his lips.

Tim gripped the steering wheel hard, then harder still. His eyes felt twitchy and his shoulders were stiff. God, he needed a cigarette.

This car ride was one of the worse yet.

After _two more hours_ , they finally arrived at the motel. Exhausted and annoyed with each other, both boys grabbed their respective bags and shuffled into the front office. They checked in, and their sour moods were made worse when they realized they could only afford a single bed suite.

Not that Tim would ever say no to sharing a bed with Jay. But he’s pissed at him right now. Tim doesn’t want to be near the other man. To feel his warm arms pull him closer under the covers. To shiver as Jay’s breath ghosts over his throat. He would cup his face gently, and Jay would smile. Then they could-

No. _No_ , they could not because Tim is mad at Jay and it wouldn’t even matter _anyway_ because how could Jay ever feel the same way about him.

Tim didn’t even care.

Not even a little bit.

Once they got into the room, Jay sullenly set up his tripod and camera up in the corner, fiddling with it until he was satisfied with the view. He slipped the old tape out, and pushed a new one in, hitting record.

“Tim,” he said, breaking the tense silence. “I really need your input on what we should do next. You didn’t say anything in the car.”

Tim was still near the door, debating on going outside for a smoke now or later. He huffed and crossed his arms.

“That’s because I don’t really feel like talking about it right now.” He felt like a child whining, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Can’t we just go _one night_ without all this shit? Without your stupid camera in my face all the time?” He pointed at the tripod angrily, as if that was the source of all this.

“Actually, no. We can’t not talk about it, Tim. I’ve told you, over and over. We are not safe. We need to keep moving and keep planning. If we don’t-“

“I get it, okay! That crazy asshole Alex will kill us. Or _that thing_ will! I don’t give a shit about any of that right now! I’m tired and I just want you to shut up for once!” Tim yelled. He was shaking he felt so much rage. In the back of his mind, he knew he was taking this all out on Jay, and that the man didn’t deserve it. But fucking hell, he just needed a break. He needed Jay to stop looking at him like that, surprise, then hurt, then a hardened glare.

“Oh, fuck you, Tim, make me.” Jay stood straight, his small frame puffed up, attempting to look intimidating.

If Tim wasn’t so pissed, he would have thought it was adorable. He would have laughed, and maybe that would have made Jay laugh in turn. Maybe they would smile together, lean on each other, and forget this argument.

But Tim was pissed. So, he did what any reasonable person would do. He tackled the other man onto the bed.

They struggled against each other, pulling and pushing and scratching and slapping. They yelled incoherently, mostly grunts and growls but also the occasional “Quit it!” or “Stop!” or “Hey!” and “Ow, that really hurt, asshole!” They tossed each other, one pinning the other triumphantly, only to be flipped again moments later.

At some point, Tim ended up on top again. He had Jay’s shirt collar in both of his fists, like some sort of school bully in the movies. He was pulling, and Jay was thrashing against him, lashing out like an animal backed into a corner. Tim moved his knee to get better leverage, accidentally pushing against Jay’s crotch.

A little moan, small and a bit strangled, escaped from Jay’s lips. His hands immediately flew up, covering his mouth. Red flushed his entire face.

Tim let go and shot up away from him so fast he almost fell off the bed.

A few moments pass painfully, neither of them saying anything, breathing loudly. Tim couldn’t help but glance at the front of Jay’s pants and _yep_. He was definitely hard.

“Okay. Well,” Jay squeaked out. He mechanically sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, facing away from Tim. “We should just forget this and get ready for bed. Lots to do tomorrow!”

Without thinking, Tim reached out and grabbed Jay’s wrist. Jay turned, and blue eyes met brown and then,

Tim leaned in and slotted his lips against Jay’s.

The kiss was soft, and timid. It was tender, and warm, and _loving._ Jay’s lips were a bit chapped, but Tim didn’t care. He was kissing Jay. He was kissing Jay and-

_OH MY GOD. HE WAS KISSING JAY._

He pulled away, full of panic.

“Jay, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, shit, just forget it- “.

Tim felt himself being pushed onto his back. Jay straddled his thighs, leaning over him and connecting their lips once again. This time the kisses were deep and passionate. Tim’s mind was reeling, but no way was he not going to kiss the other man back.

Jay licked his mouth open, tongue gliding over tongue. He nipped at Tim’s lower lip and _pulled_. Tim gasped, and when their lips met again, he swore Jay was grinning into the kiss. Tim brought his hands to Jay’s waist, squeezing, fingers caressing under the smaller man’s shirt. Jay groaned, bucking his hips.

“Mmm, sorry, Tim.” Jay murmured in between kisses. He worked his way down Tim’s jaw before coming back to his mouth. “Shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Tim brought a hand up to gently cup the side of Jay’s face. “I started it. Sorry I’ve been so pissy. You don’t deserve it.”

The two of them moved much slower now, but the need to be closer, to feel skin on skin, was becoming overwhelming. They were all roaming hands and deep sighs.

“Take your shirt off.” Tim whispered in Jay’s ear, before one last lingering kiss. Jay whimpered, reluctant to pull away, but sat up on his knees and did as he was told.

Tim had also moved to get his own shirt off, throwing it out of sight. He fought the urge to cover himself up, a wave of self-loathing coming over him. Where Jay was tall and skinny, Tim was shorter, with a soft midsection, and large thighs. Jay must have guessed what he was thinking, scooting close and running his hands over his body.

“You’re really beautiful, Tim. Y’know that, right?”

Tim felt his face warm. “You don’t have to say that. You don’t have to pretend. I know I don’t have the most attractive body…”

“Tim, I’m not pretending…You’re like _, ridiculously_ hot.” Jay said in a husky voice, fingers now wrapped around Tim’s belt loops, drawing him closer, and _damn_ if that didn’t go straight to his dick.

They came back together hungrily, kisses nearing painful. Tim’s hands found their way to Jay’s ass, pulling him tight against him. They ground their hips together, clothed cocks rubbing deliciously.

“F-fuck…” Jay growled out, scratching red lines into Tim’s strong back.

“Mmm, shit, Jay." He breathed out. He moved his hands to Jay's belt. He struggled with it for a moment before the other man stopped him silently.

Tim looked up, confused. Jay looked nervous, a tight smile on his lips. Tim dropped his hands in surrender, not wanting to even insinuate that he would force Jay to do anything. He would never hurt the man in front of him.

 "Tim, I...I don’t know if this is a good idea. I need to tell you something, and it might change your mind about... _this_." Jay fiddled with his belt buckle, no longer meeting Tim's gaze.

 "You can talk to me about anything, Jay." He guided the man's chin up to meet his eyes. "It's okay."

 "Alright. Wow, um. Sorry. I never thought this would ever come up, so it might be a bit rough." He breathed out a shaky sign. " But...I...I really, _really_ like you, Tim. More than I ever though I would. I mean, this whole situation we’re in is crazy. And here we are, rutting against each other like teenagers." Red bloomed across his cheeks at his own words. "I just want to say. I'm really into you, and I don’t think I can do this if we are just going to pretend it didn't happen tomorrow. I need to know if you have any feelings for me."

Tim was stunned into silence. Was he really hearing Jay right? Jay... _liked_ him?  The man who he hasn't been able to get out of his mind for months? He was tempted to pinch himself, convinced that he must be dreaming. But then again, he only ever has nightmares, so it must be real.

 "Please say something. Please, Tim." Jay's plea brought him back to the present.

 "Jay...Jay..." he murmured under his breath. He cupped the man's face and kissed him, trying to pour all the affection he felt into it. When they parted, Jay's eyes searched Tim's rapidly, as if he was waiting for a punchline of a cruel joke.

 "Oh, don't look at me like that. I can't believe you haven't noticed how much I stare at you. I can't stop myself. Jay, I……of course there’s feelings here. I wouldn’t have kissed you that first time if there wasn’t.  You're beautiful, and determined, resourceful, and so smart-albeit impulsive.” He let out a nervous laugh.

“You're the only one I have to rely on, and the only one I want to be with. Jay, I don’t wanna scare you off but...I've been falling in love with you since we ran away together."

"Tim..." Jay pounced, pressing his whole body against Tim's, trailing kisses all over his neck. Tim laughed softly, but held him close, fitting them together like puzzle pieces.

 "Can I get in your pants now?" He smirked. He could feel Jay's laugh on his skin, and the vibration in his chest.

"God, yes." Jay groaned, pulling back and going for Tim’s zipper.

Once they both worked their way out of their jeans and boxers they paused, looking at each other, unsure on how far they wanted to take this tonight. Tim for sure did not have any essentials, he never would have thought to bring condoms or lube when he uprooted his life for this.

“Do you have any…?” He trailed off, feeling slightly awkward.

“Oh, uh. Would hand lotion work?” Jay climbed off the bed and walked over to his bookbag, rummaging through it until finding the small bottle.

“It’s not ideal, but it can get us started.” Tim gingerly took the bottle, smearing some of the lotion onto his palm. “Can I touch you?”

Jay seemed to grow even more red, if that was possible, the blush now dusting his chest. “Yes, please.” He whispered.

Tim moved in close, taking Jay into his hand and started pumping him languidly. Jay let out a sigh before guiding Tim into a messy kiss.

Jay searched the bed blindly for the lotion, too caught up in the other man to turn away from him. finally finding it, he flipped it open and squirted it haphazardly on his hand (as well as a bit on the bed). _Oops._

Tim let out a high-pitched whine as Jay flicked his wrist in the way that always gets him riled up on his own. “Feels good,” he mumbled, breaking their open-mouthed kisses.

“You like that?” Jay smirked and lapped his tongue at Tim’s jawline. Once again, then twice again, he moved his hand so perfectly, the heat making Tim dizzy.

“Yeah, _yes_. God, Jay.” He figured he needed to step his own game up, so he started moving a bit faster, nimble fingers traveling up to the head of Jay’s cock, thumb rubbing the head over and over. Precum dripped out and made a mess of Tim’s hand and the bed.

Jay let out a shuddering moan, a shiver crawling up his back. He arched, pushing himself close enough for the two dicks to brush, and _Jesus,_ Tim didn’t think it could feel any better, but that touch was electrifying. 

“I have an idea.” Jay grinned wickedly. He reached out and took both cocks in his hand, jerking them off together. He threw his head back, and in a breathy voice he cried out, “Oh, _fuck._ Tim, Tim... please just, _touch me.”_

Tim didn’t have to be asked twice. What Jay was doing felt incredible, and he looked so perfect like this. Pink all over, chest heaving, the hollow of his throat bared just for him. He ran his hands everywhere appraisingly, worshipping what Jay had so generously given to him. He leaned in, leaving open mouthed kisses all over his lover’s skin.

“I’m close.” He groaned out. He nibbled experimentally at Jay’s collarbone, and judging by his sharp intake of breath, Jay seemed to be into it. He licked over the bite to soothe the pain.

“Me too. Mmm, next time- want you to fuck me. I wanna feel you inside.” Jay’s voice was high and needy, obviously out of breath. _He wants a next time_.

“I’ll fuck you hard, fill you up so good. So good, Babe.” He keened as Jay pumped them faster and faster. “I’ll mark you all over that pretty neck of yours, so everyone will know that you’re mine.”

“Yes, _yes_. I’m yours, all yours. Need you, Tim. Please, _please._ Need to cum with you.” Jay’s voice broke, grinding his hips hard into Tim’s.

“Cum for me, then. _Cum.”_ He bit down hard on the thick skin between Jay’s shoulder and neck. Jay cried out, and Tim felt the vivacious fluid spirt out on to both his and Jay’s chests, a bit hitting his chin. Moments later his own climax hit him like a train, his groan deep and animalistic. They rode out their orgasms together, Jay still pumping them, each up and down motion slower than the next.

Once they were both spent, Jay flopped onto his back with a small _oof_. He smiled up at Tim, then looked away shyly. “That was…”

“Perfect? Amazing? A great stress relief?” Tim teased with a laugh, then leaned over the small man and planted a tiny kiss on his cheek.

“All those and more.” Jay chuckled out, looking pleased with Tim’s gesture of affection.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, huh?” getting up from the bed, Tim made his way to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and a plastic cup of water. After handing Jay the water, he took great care in wiping him down, his touch lingering a bit longer than necessary.

Jay pushed himself up and took the washcloth, a small smile gracing his lips as he cleaned up Tim. He pecked the man’s face a few times, then giggled a bit breathlessly, as if he still couldn’t believe he was allowed to do so.

They pulled their underwear back on and climbed under the covers together. They snuggled in closely, and Tim was struck with how similar this was to the daydream fantasy he was having earlier that night.

“I’m really not dreaming, am I?” He searched Jay’s eyes, suddenly unsure.

“I hope not, but I don’t think so. I mean-“ He cut himself off, face flushing. “I don’t know about you, but if I ever came that hard in a dream, it would have woken me up.”

Tim’s laughter was sharp and loud, a snort coming out of his nose.

“Shut up,” Jay mumbled, hiding his face in the crook of Tim’s neck.

“Hey, Hey, don’t hide from me.” Tim said, still chuckling lightly. He pushed Jay out from his hiding spot, then touched the man’s face gently. “I wanna see you.”

They kissed slowly, their pace now leisurely. They poured all that they were feeling into those little acts of affection, before Tim sighed contently.

Legs entangled and fingers entwined, the two boys drifted into sleep. There were no nightmares to terrorize their minds that night, no faceless creatures or hooded men in the corners of the room. It was just the two of them breathing in sync, blissful and calm for the first time in a very long time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first nsfw fic please don't judge me too harshly lmao


End file.
